Welcome...The First Official In-Law Party...Part 1

"in-law" 

1894, "anyone of a relationship not natural," abstracted from father-in-law,  etc.
"The position of the 'in-laws' is often not very apt to promote happiness." ["Blackwood's Magazine," 1894]


You've got to be kidding...Thankfully things have changed...

I've been trying to plan an "in-law" party...a simple cookout involving my children and their current in-laws, and "in-laws to be".

Nothing fancy, no dress code, just fun...food...and laughter.


It looks like It's going to happen soon... and I should be planning this party instead of blogging.
But here I am, just itching to write about the scary, more often joyful, experiences of having in-laws.


Let's just start by showing you a little picture, these are my in-laws...

No, we didn't hire any "extras" to fill the room...I'm sure the photographer had been hoping for some impending divorces when he was given the numbers, that would have made his job much easier. 


But no, here we all are last Thanksgiving Day, every single one of us.
This is the immediate family. {Actually a handful of new members have joined since then} Everyone here belongs here, there are no Thanksgiving crashers....and there's more coming soon.


Yes, you heard me correctly...there will be more.


Here's me...my kiddies...some cousins....and a sister-in-law... 
(Hi Clare!)

And here's Grandma, surrounded by some grandchildren and some great-grandchildren...and I'm certain these numbers will increase...it's just a matter of time.

And all this happened because these two had eight children...

I wonder if they were thinking about this during their wedding buffet in 1949...?

Having this many family members isn't always easy. A sit-down dinner requires not only a large space, but numerous chairs, a humongous table, lots of patience, and great organizational skills.
It was easier when the kiddies were still kiddies... small tykes may be loud and messy, but they take up very little room.

Jerry, Colleen, Patrick, and Connor

{1985}

As everyone grew finding space became more challenging, but we managed to celebrate quite comfortably.


Many events have been shared together, and although we still come together as a group, we are now branching off into our own family units. 


We've all learned well though. Grandma Betty could make a salad stretch, and make a family feel full on what may look like very little. We've also learned that stocking up on folding chairs is a must, dishes don't have to be matchy-matchy, and collecting large amounts of silverware will make you very happy one day.


The torch has been passed and I'm now enjoying the greatest stage of my life thus far...I get to plan the parties. 

{The New In-laws}

A whole new group of inlaws are forming through the marriages of my children. I'm already a mother-in-law, and I'm about to inherit another daughter-in-law, and a son-in-law. These new members are joining us, and their families are becoming dear friends. It sounds daunting, but we love the idea of extending our family. We've grown fond of big.


I'm hoping this party will be the first of many. I'm declaring it a tradition. 
I don't think my family will reach epic proportions, but I'm hoping we'll all create our own memories throughout the years...no matter what number we reach in population.


Thanks to so many talented bloggers, I'm getting lots of creative inspiration!
  
So far...


I'll be making Darby's Corn Salad recipe.
Making a few Vintage Buntings. 
And making These and possibly This!!




  
I'll also be praying for clear skies, dry pavements, and happy faces.
Wish me luck.

“Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.”

-Mark Twain

College...aka "The Sweet Life"

Molly drove back to ND last night.
Last summer she didn't enroll in a summer session so she was home for ten weeks. Having a child return home after college life can be stressful challenging.
I've found that my children morphed into alternate personalities after their first year of college life. Just some examples...


Lawyer-Boy...I didn't recognize my boy at all. Formerly sweet, kind, and nonjudgemental...he returned grumpy, lazy, narcoleptic, and addicted to junk food. He slept, he ate, he complained, he slept, he complained, he slept, he slept more...I was a little worried about the excess sleep until I realized he was up all night, entertaining friends...in my pool...with the heater on ninety...and beer cans in the bushes. 
Are you familiar with the Peanuts character Pig Pen?...that was my boy one summer...

Thankfully my sweet, kind boy grew into a sweet, kind man. {Notice I left out the nonjudgemental attribute he once possessed...that's gone forever...I told you he's a lawyer didn't I?} He'll be marrying Carolyn very soon, and I'm sure he'll never return to his slovenly college ways. But I am secure in the fact that if he does...it's no longer my problem....{it's yours now Carolyn...good luck sweetie!!}


Michael...that's Mr. Michael to you. Hmmmm, let's just say he returned thinking he was the king. The king of everything. He knew everything, he was an expert on everything, and he didn't have to do anything. He returned sloppy, crabby, unshaven, and thinking he was the alpha dog. One summer was not enough time for an intervention, so we  tiptoed around him until we sent him back...early...to his frat...where he belonged...

Our Michael grew into a kind, caring, hard-working teacher. He also married Margaret who obviously has a way of taming that alpha personality...we are eternally grateful for her!...very, very grateful...soooo grateful. 

Teacher-Girl...sweet, precious, lovable first daughter...what the hell heck happened? We dropped Maggie off in August and she was hesitant, sweetly excited, and organized...she was ready.
She returned home assured, and in party-mode. Unfortunately she left the exciting city of Chicago and returned to the boring, subdivided suburbs of Chicago. All of a sudden her home was Mayberry, Stars Hollow, and Dillon, Texas all rolled into one...cute towns for a sitcom...not so cute for our college girl. {I began to feel like a country bumpkin...especially when she eyed my clothing and sadly shook her head}. Summer dragged, but eventually she found herself back to the shopping and restaurants she approved of.

   

Teacher-Girl enjoyed college...she met Bryan, found she loved teaching, and eventually realized money had to be earned...{Thank you Bryan}. Teaching the little ones is a noble profession. Of course the pay scale is rather low...I'm guessing she may have changed her dining and shopping choices!

But she does appreciate it when someone else picks up the tab...

So...

I'm guessing that Molly's inability to pick clothes off the floor will pass. I'm sure she'll eventually realize that leaving food-encrusted plates in her room is unsanitary. I'm confident she'll empty wastebaskets, fold her clothes, and even clean out her desk.

It's just a matter of time.

Every time she heads back to school I feel sad. I worry about her safety, her choices, and her work load. 

So for now I won't worry about the clutter and the chaos that her room has become. I'll straighten it just enough to make me feel comfortable.

After all, I should have learned a few lessons after sending my first three off to college...

Children come back...in some way or another.

Children are always your children...even when they're thirty.

Children change, evolve, and then settle down.

Children are terribly messy...until they're paying rent or have a mortgage.

Children do not appreciate it when you call them children...especially when they're married.

And most importantly...Children will not honor your request to drive over and clean up their dorm room...

...I could organize this space in record time.

::SIGH::

...Running out to buy THIS BOOK...right now!

One more wedding moment...

Margaret's photographer just sent me a few more pictures from the wedding...I think this one is my favorite....although I love every one of them!! 
Last week was MICHAEL'S BIRTHDAY and I was reminded how fast the time goes...you never think like that while in the midst of dirty diapers and science projects.


I couldn't wait for my children to grow up, and when they did I began wishing for the old days...


*sigh*

My Birthday Boy!

Today my second child, my youngest son, and the child who is possibly the most like me {I apologize for the migraines}...is having a birthday!!
28 years ago I was blessed with another son...

He grew up much too quickly...

I closed my eyes and he was in college...

I closed them again, and he had a wife...

Thank you Michael for adding more joy to my life...and thanks for adding Margaret to our little corner...she makes up for all the sleepless nights you gave me...and there were many!

"Don't wait to make your son a great man

 - make him a great boy. "

                                                               ~Author Unknown

Wedding Memories!!

My lovely daughter-in-law gave me a beautiful wedding book yesterday...

Margaret and Michael were married last October and it was an unbelievably beautiful day!!!....

Everything went so fast.. it's exciting to relive just a few of the moments...

...here's my previous post on the wedding if you'd like to see MORE !!

Thanks to Those Who Call Me Mom...

I thought it appropriate to thank all the little people who graciously bestowed upon me the title of Mother!!...I'm honored and grateful that all of you choose to honor me every year on this day, when it's really me that should be calling attention to you!
So I think I'll let you know what I think, so pay attention...



My eldest son, Jerry...
Good God, you were huge! 
Thankfully c-sections were a quick and effective option for any baby with a ginormous head like yours. I learned quickly... that head carried a huge brain with a large space chock full of humor, and empathy.
You grew up with a big heart and such sarcasm...a tricky combination! I thought you'd be a stand-up comic in a dark nightclub...or an underpaid and overworked doctor...
You impressed all of us when you became a lawyer, a champion for the under dog, and a tireless fighter. Your determination has made a difference...that's a huge accomplishment, you should be proud.
You're the best of all worlds...a philosopher, a realist, and an old soul in a great suit. You never forget to give credit where it's due or admit a mistake if it's yours. You'll make a great husband very soon!
I'm glad you were the first to call me Mom...now lose the cigars.    

My youngest son, Michael...
You like to say that after Jerry was born, I looked at him, shook my head, and decided I'd better try again for something better. You were quite the comedian. And although it didn't go quite like you said, it was a blessing I tried again...for many reasons... 
You know what's right, and you do the right thing...that's not always easy.
You became a teacher, not just any teacher, but an advocate for the challenged. You see there's a difference you can make, and you work at it until it happens. You'll be the teacher your students look back at, and remember.
You drove me crazy while growing up...the attitude, the beer hidden in my hydrangeas. I thought you'd never stop arguing with me...and you really haven't stopped...but now you call it a debate, and sometimes I even win. I'm proud to call you my son...and anytime you'd like to bless me with grandchildren I won't complain.

My eldest daughter, Maggie...
Thank you Lord, for a girl. 
I thought I'd never stop stepping on cars and folding boy's underwear.
You were the little princess, always pretty in pink, yet never afraid to jump in the mud. You grew up surrounded by boys, and quickly learned how to wrap them around your finger! You loved the attention and you certainly received it. You were Pop-Pop's little granddaughter, and you spent hours listening to him read to you...and losing him was your first huge heartbreak.
You were a sweetheart with a huge sassy streak...a teenager with an attitude, but quick with an apology. 
You also grew up to be a teacher, a leader to the little ones. You're the teacher that doesn't tolerate bullying, meanness, or exclusion. You're making a difference in the lives of many, yet it comes effortlessly to you...it's just your nature to do the right thing. I'm so glad you're the best you can be. Anyone who can call you their friend is a very lucky person...that includes you Bryan :)

My youngest daughter Molly...

I'm sure it's hard to keep hearing that you're the baby of the family!...but believe me, it's a phrase full of love...
Especially when you've accomplished so much as an adult. I was so grateful to have yet another daughter. Yes, those older brothers of yours teased you mercilessly, but I'm sure you remember how they also protected you, drove you around, and screened your dates! And yes, your older sister loved to lock you out of her room. But you learned that time changes everything. And when you walk down the aisle as Maggie's Maid of Honor...I'm sure you'll forget the teenage traumas. 
You have aspirations and you work hard to achieve them...you always did things your way...quietly and without complaint. You love to have your ducks in a row, and you do a great job accomplishing that. You're the keeper of the peace, the one who settles the arguments, the mediator. You're driven, but you still accept a little advice. I'm not sure what path you'll take, but you'll follow that path on your own terms. You'll do great things, and I'll keep trying to forget you're not the baby...

So today I'll give thanks for my children. Every one of you gave me enough scares, too much sass, and way too many sleepless nights...but who would I be without those experiences?...well, I'd be less stressed, but I made a choice to raise a family. And I wouldn't have it any other way. You can all marry, have children, and grow to a ripe old age, but to me you'll be forever my children...
Sorry, there's absolutely nothing you can do to change that.

Love Always,

Your Mama

Mosaic Monday...Wedding!!

 I've already posted these pictures...but I couldn't resist using them in a mosaic!!
Michael and Margaret had a beautiful wedding in October!
{And we're counting the days until Jerry and Carolyn's Big Day...}


There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.  ~Martin Luther

Our First Family Wedding!!

My son Michael married his lovely Margaret last October. While my sons were growing up I obsessed wondered about many things. The thought of them choosing the wrong girl to spend their lives with was just one of those worries that kept me up at night.
My boys are very different. My eldest son {Jerry...also known as JerBear} brought home plenty of girls. The problem with that was I would begin to develop a relationship with them and then...poof...they were gone. He was constantly changing his mind...he liked smart girls, then skinny girls, then funny girls...


I began to ignore whomever he brought home to protect myself...I'm sure some of these girls thought I was terribly rude, {but not as rude as Jerry turned out to be when he stopped calling them}...I really did try to teach him some empathy.  {He's an attorney now... let's leave it at that}...and thankfully he's engaged to a wonderful girl that isn't going anywhere!!...we won't let her.

Michael on the other hand was very different. He dated many girls, all of which I never met.
I remember one high school dance...I waited to meet this lovely girl but Michael met her in the high school parking lot {after one of his wrestling meets}. He didn't see the point in driving home first. I can just picture him handing her flowers among the parked cars. He was quite the romantic...I hope he showered.


After college Michael informed me that if he brought home a girl...she was probably "the one". I believed this bit of information he shared with me. Michael is true to his word, so I waited....


In 2006 he walked into our house with Margaret. 
Poor Margaret!!...we all stared at her with our mouths open.
My daughters whispered to each other...Michael's father kept nodding his head and smiling...and I'm certain I gave this poor girl the worst impression ever... {It's hard to entertain a large group when all you can do is stare at a stranger and wonder if she will be your daughter-in-law}. We soon loved Margaret {she was wonderful} and obviously Michael was smitten... {although "smitten" isn't a word my son would use}.

And the rest is history...


{Wedding Photos courtesy of Carmen Hernandez Photography, Chicago}

  

And what's a wedding without children?....especially cute ones!

It was a Beautiful Day...