Wednesday, February 24, 2010

You Go Girlfriend!!

    I've previously posted about my friend Lisa. When I met her ( a meeting orchestrated by an angel... only two years ago ), she was funny, full of energy, and a neighbor I never knew I had. She told me she was a cancer survivor and spilled this little tidbit without blinking an eye. My only brother had lost his battle with cancer 15 years ago. To me cancer is everywhere, lurking and ready to pounce. I read about it, curse it, and fear it's sneakiness. To Lisa cancer was something she suffered through, beat, and moved on from. I was in awe of her. To me she was the ultimate representation of a survivor. Our friendship carried on and cancer was never the main topic. How could it be? We both had kids, spouses, dogs, and neighbors to talk about....

   Of course we all know that life is rarely a ride on the carousel. Last year it hit her again....and this is where I get a little angry. I question who's writing this script for her. I am a Catholic. Every educational institution I attended was Catholic, every church I've belonged to was Catholic, my mother attended daily mass for years, my brother (the marine) fought battles with a St. Christopher medal around his neck.. and he still wore that medal when he returned home, a parapelegic. I was raised to believe in God's plan. As I aged (and dealt with my own blows) my views shifted slightly. I'm now an ala carte Catholic. I'm sometimes found at mass, sometimes I just pray in my pajamas. Lots of times I don't pray at all, and instead choose to view God as a long haired hippie- type gleefully moving us around like game pieces...I know.. (so sorry Sister Mary Christine).

   Last year after some experimental treatment at UIC Lisa was better...we went to Florida, we went to lunch, and we did our best to stimulate the economy. Life went on...but eventually her experimental treatment stopped working. This meant some tumor growth and the need for a different approach. Tomorrow she begins chemo again..not the easiest road.

   I do believe that Lisa will get through this once again....I see her winning the battle. I just hate to see her having to suffer so much to do so. These are times when I question everything. I question, and question, and question....and then I bang my head against the wall. There are no easy answers, this I'm sure of....but there is faith, and I'm sure of that too.

Jeremiah 30:17
"But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds," declares the LORD.

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